Detached
I feel very detached from reality. Today was just a pitifully pointless day. I went through it in a torpor and basically did not physically function at all. I listened to my mp3 player, played the drums a little, played the piano a little, studied for the SAT, had a sub in my two academic classes. What a write-off. Oh yah, I also had a stomach ache during my piano lesson.
It wasn't a feeling of indolence; it was more an aberrant lack of motivation. Not a cool feeling. psht, psht. I need some sort of tonic to relieve me of my enervate state. An intangible, impalpable source of motivation, for it isn't just sleep or food that I lack.
It wasn't a feeling of indolence; it was more an aberrant lack of motivation. Not a cool feeling. psht, psht. I need some sort of tonic to relieve me of my enervate state. An intangible, impalpable source of motivation, for it isn't just sleep or food that I lack.
2 Comments:
ah....yes, between the time that I wrote that entry and this comment, I wrote another song. YAY so the day was not a write-off. so I'm happier* now. It is a kind of good "emo" song bringing my song count up to 17, 18 with phunk song and 19 with the song to which lorenz wrote the words.
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bradfurd, at 9:30 p.m.
I have many questions, as a first time commenter on your blog: (these having to do with "Perspicacity/Perspicaciousness if you will" as I wrote this whole section as a comment to that post, and than realized you prolly don't read the comments from ones that are old)
Why is your bed oversized? you can never have too much bed room!
I also agree most fully with your analysis of friendship and companionship. I, myself, have a large and loyal group of friends and aquaintences whom I like to see as often and with as much excitement as possible. and I agree... people like *cough* a-very-small-mormon-dating-girl we know *cough* shouldnt make commitments to anything, this way they end up doing nothing except hang out with above-mentioned mormon and letting a whole bunch of people down. Yay planning and organization!!!
Another thing that has popped up on that post ("Perspicacity/Perspicaciousness if you will")as well as several others is an innate sense of loneliness. I would really like to know why you seem so lonely. You speak of friends, even your own, seemingly detached. Even when you're around them you seem like you somehow step back and observe. Now, thats either extraordinarily smart, or a little bit sad (as exempliefied in crying, not as in pathetic)
I really wish to get to know you better. It is very unfortunate you are so quiet in real life, yet have so many extraordinary opinions and viewpoints when you are online. Intriguing to say the least.....
oh, post script, was one of your academics writing? cuz if so, my mother was your sub today. Isn't that neat?
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Pineapple Princess!, at 10:35 p.m.
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