Spenserian
I wrote another song in the style of Van Halen. I sincerely apologize for all of this poetry talk, but it has snagged my attention. Kevin and I were feeling random and hardcore so we decided to simulatneously write a sonnet. His ended up being in Petrarchan form while mine was in Spenserian form. This happens to be the first sonnet I ever wrote so I could arbitrarily assign a roman numeral in a trite manner; however, I chose to leave it untitled:
Until this day I thought my soul as one;
Appraised as flawless by a jeweler's hand,
But now it dawns that spirits must succumb
To love it breaks and crumbles to a sand.
The crystals of my shattered heart do stand
A moment only; shards of diamond fly
Upheaved so strong they scatter o'er the land
And through despairing hours and days I cry.
While gazing in those dazzling clear blue eyes
I realize this; my heart is cleaved in two;
Affected not by time or how I try
A sliver of my heart remains with you.
Regret I mix with admiration so
With you I part and on my way I go.
Yay or nay??? comment below.
Until this day I thought my soul as one;
Appraised as flawless by a jeweler's hand,
But now it dawns that spirits must succumb
To love it breaks and crumbles to a sand.
The crystals of my shattered heart do stand
A moment only; shards of diamond fly
Upheaved so strong they scatter o'er the land
And through despairing hours and days I cry.
While gazing in those dazzling clear blue eyes
I realize this; my heart is cleaved in two;
Affected not by time or how I try
A sliver of my heart remains with you.
Regret I mix with admiration so
With you I part and on my way I go.
Yay or nay??? comment below.
3 Comments:
that's very good...i've never even tried to write a sonnet
By
Anonymous, at 11:29 p.m.
I like it. although the line with the "While gazing in those dazzling clear blue eyes" seems long, i dont know why, its pentameter same as the rest! i dont understand, but you might want to revise that line, it seems out of place. so much for constructive criticism!
By
Pineapple Princess!, at 1:13 a.m.
sorry brad, but if you don't give it a title yourself, scholars will assign it a number, and then title it after the first line. I.e. "1" or "I" "Until this day I thought my soul as one" ... so if Milton hadn't called his "On His Blindness" it would be "When I consider how my light was spent" &c.
it's good stuff though, I am impressed. I originally planned on twenty sonnets by the time I was twenty, but I think I can go faster than that. rock on, would love to hear your new songs
By
K, at 8:30 a.m.
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