How are you? How am I, you ask?

well, the question is who cares. I'll be different in a few minutes anyways. Is it not enough to know how oneself is doing? apparently not and one must know how others are doing just for the slim chance that somebody else is doing better than oneself and one can possibly reap the benefits that others are experiencing from contentedness.

Sunday (I covered for those omniscient beings who took the day off), I worked quite hard on NLS, chemistry and I worked out. Last night I spent lots of money and wore a dress. ack:

Well, my weekend was random. I didn't do any hardcore hallowe'en partying, and it will soon be All Saints Day.* Most ppl forget about this postlude to the song of all hallow's eve. I hung out with loud gr. 10 Barsby girls with Lorenz on friday at the bonfire in the rain. Apparently, at Wellington, there is a relation of one of my friends who threatens to kick my ass. However, that friend is quite a nice, reasonable individual.

*I apologize to all those saints who got shafted to the day with everyone else on it. Those saints who shoddied their day b4 they were taken are the lucky ones not among us anymore. I actually had a planner that named every saint for each day. It was quite hardcore.

Tomorrow

Today rather, I have to work work work. I must do my chemistry homework, swimming assignments, study the Crucible and practice the piano. Little time is left for partying it up.
This is my catch-up day, entirely devoted to working. Maybe tutoring.

Regarding my jazz gig, I played the drums at the "YES!" campaign for developing downtown Nanaimo. (That doesn't necissarily mean I support it {but, w/e, I do actually support it}). I saw exchange of some Mackenzie King's between officials there and my band teacher so I believe I earned about 10 or 20 dollars which will most likely go into my band account.

Today

Today I went shopping with Devin for clothes so people thought we were gay.
Today I got a haircut at the cutting room (I still have a decent amount of hair by my standards)
Today I had a hallowe'en gathering, where people had and worked through some social difficulties.
Today > 3 people said I looked "hot".
What up

Fire in the Rain

No my name isn't some sort of analogy. I actually went to a bonfire at someone's house last night. They had a campfire and a bonfire going; it was quite h-core. I met many loud little ppl, but, nonetheless, had a good time. Sorry for the lack of entries, as I was hoping the philosophy ones would keep ppl occupied for a while.

This has been a crazy week with an event every night except for thursday. I'm glad it is finally over and hopefully I can catch up on some work on this weekend. I played my first jazz gig downtown on Wednesday for the "YES" campaign for developing downtown Nanaimo. Yesterday, I took out more money from my bank account than ever before and it felt really good to hold and know that I own that much money. *sometimes I'm ashamed of my capitalist urges, but I can't help them.

This weekend, I'm having a Hallowe'en gathering of small measures and I'm going for a haircut (don't worry, not too much hair cut off) and shopping. Yesterday, I finished writing two more songs, which were my first since August for some "inexplicable" reason. David thought one of them sounded like I didn't write it, which is the best compliment that anyone can give me. Van Halen is quite a sweet band, guitarist and drummer. I discovered the Van Halen drummer is Alex Van Halen.

"*guitar solo*" - Eddie van Halen

RE: Philosophy

Regarding my philosophy of living with no regrets, it involves two factors: hesitating very little and finding something good in whatever one does. I find it to be a waste of time to sit around and wonder whether I should ask a girl out or record a CD, to give two examples. Decide what the worst thing that could happen is and know that the laws of probability won't let something that bad happen. By doing this, one realizes that there is next to no risk in getting shut down by a girl or making the lamest recording of one's life. Of course there are situations with very bad consequences (ie. financial ruin), so one must consider those undertakings a little bit more.

The second factor involves finding usefulness each moment in life. (to a certain extent). For example, one must learn from their mistakes which they will undoubtabley make. It is too much work to care about things that cannot be changed, unless one cares about them in a positive way. Philosophy is sometimes just a way of thinking rather than acting. I can think that was the dumbest thing ever.....hence, I'll never do it again and advise my friends against it. I did, however, exercise my biceps and perhaps gained some debating skills from it. It is over now anyways so why sweat it.

That is how I have no regrets about my life. It is also advisable to think before you do something with rash consequences, because you will certainly regret it, but also keep in mind, that a new day comes* and you can choose to spend it differently.

"I gotta get away from here...I miss the one that I love a lot...I loved"

*One day, you will die, but that is beside the point. :

My Slipping Grasp on Life

This shall be a long philosophical entry so if you intend to read it then I would suggest that you wait until you have some free time. Thank you for your patronage. Click on any ads you find to support them. (jk. don't support any multinational companies unless they are your own, and if they aren't your own then immediately get a sizable bank loan and purchase them....yes buy yourself a mutlinational company. I can guarantee it would be quite an adventure whether you are a capitalist, even more so if you are a communist)

Starting simply, Chemistry 12 is the most ridiculously inane course that I have ever taken. My younger brother could get an A in it with a little bit of effort. Our school system has some serious flaws, for gr. 8 was my hardest year of high school and it got progressively easier. As awesome as this may sound, simplicity often make people slack off. I will overestimate the amount of free time I have and extracirricular activities will be left undone when I actually had a whole weekend to complete them.

Due to my excessive tiredness this weekend, on Sunday evening my mind wandered much. This morning I remembered most all of my dreams (which is most unusual pour moi) and they seemed to fuse with my reality. This does seem to present some difficulties if I cannot tell the difference between them, but luckily they were most obscurely related to my reality and were quite improbable. Among the things I thought about were time management, love, friendship, the meaning of life* (cliched, but nonetheless a topic of thought {I apologize for using "nonetheless" twice in a previous entry}), family, capitalism, death, career options and, lastly, how I should be sleeping rather than thinking.

Regarding time management, I realized I am quite behind in almost every aspect of my life somehow: piano, drum practice, scholarship applications, swimming hw, sleep, social troubles, cleaning my room, making presents, paying dues, collecting dues (which I have half a mind to forgive) and I guess I'm behind on my comprehension of my life.

Specifically, love was an idea that popped into my mind. On saturday, at the soccer game I was discussing what love really is, with Chris Ruiz. My present conclusion and vague definition: love is present when you are entirely encompassed with a certain person and overcome with a certain placid contentedness when you are with them. Previously, I was reluctant to admit a definition for love which kept it as a quite strong word. This definition, I feel, maintains that strength of the word while expressing it in words from one of the most complex languages. Using this definition and my emotions I believe that I have loved. Then came the speculation of whether one could fall in and out of love multiple times in one's life. I sincerely hope that this is so, for one's love is not always returned. I feel I must add that "If one truly loves, then one's love never truly fades." - B. Neil

Now, that definition can be interpreted in a number of ways for it can also apply to one's friends and family. Obviously one loves one's family on some level, but can it be true for friends? I think you can love your friends, even though you don't bluntly say "I love you" to them. Just as you feel bad after an argument with a s/o, you feel awkward after fighting with a friend. Friends know almost as much if not more about you than your s/o does and you spend reams of time with them through multiple relationships if they are good friends. Therefore, I've come to the conclusion that one loves their friends; hence, they can love many during the course of life (approximated at 77 years).

Presumabley, the one you've all been waiting for... the meaning of life. (I hope Monty Python has not coined that phrase). Everybody's life is different, but many find contentment in this generalization: they like to be cared for. Dying with 10 loved ones around you beats the heck out of dying single on a business trip or even worse living on the street where nobody notices you pass away. Half of living a happy life is making a good impression on others and developing an honest name for oneself. The other half consists of self-esteem. NO I do not mean egotism or pride. I specify the way one thinks of one's actions. This entry can be contradicted by many religions for the main purpose of religion is to teach people how to live one's life.

Living a wholesome life involves following what is morally right. In general, people's morals consist of the majority of the Ten CommandmentsTM . The golden rule is quite commonly taught to people though not always accepted. To be content with oneself, do not regret anything and enjoy every moment of life. Search for the good in each moment and make others feel happy about themselves. The feeling that comes from making another laugh or smile is one that sustains the essence of life (or your soul). You don't have to be perfect all of the time. People will naturally give something back if you make them feel good about themselves.

The most basic part of a good personality is one that listens. Someone once said, "everyone has a story to tell and just wants somebody to listen". This is word for word true. Everybody will talk until they have a sore throat if they have somebody they are comfortable around to listen. Listening isn't all that hard and if you always talk about yourself people will become tired of listening to you. From this comes the phrase talking with somebody. It is a trade off of telling anecdotes and expressing opinions and possibly feelings. When you die, having listened, if is as if you have lived multiple lives.

The last point about the meaning of life I have to make is to "Think and act". I know you can formulate millions of ideas in your head and when you are freed from the binding chains of high school, break out and put them into action. A good leader is always listened to; people, in general, want to be part of something bigger. If you lead that something bigger, then you can shape your own little, but significant, part of the world. This difference will content you on your death bed having known you did something with your life.

I believe that touches on time management, love, friendship, the meaning of life, family, death and perhaps leadership career options. Regarding captalism, the dollar is worthy of being worshipped (thou shalt not worhsip idols. It is worthy of being worhsipped, but don't actually do it) at a whopping 81.9299 cents. I feel sorry for Mr. Gregg Bowman who is getting his sizable lump sum for starting his company in USD. lol. well I guess a million dollars is sizable in any denomination (except lira).

You now possess a sliver of what runs through my head every day if you read the entire aforementioned lazy essay. I'd like to say that the brain is the most insane but effective compacting system EVER. Motion Picture Export Group is like an ant to an elephant (rather an elephant to an ant) when compared with human compression capacity. We discard useless information but retain almost every trivial fact which is triggered on mention. This includes smells, sights, sounds, finger movements, math equations, historical figures, and cetera. I cannot believe that you read that whole thing, but you now possess more knowledge and wisdom. Luckay you. The quest for which is never-ending.

"I gotta get away from here...I miss the one that I love a lot...I loved."

*yes you could have skipped the entire meaning of life section and went here. Love is the essential meaning of life and having loved even once in a lifetime makes one's life ultimately purposeful and fulfilling.

Mr. Wilhelmson misinterupted. Mr. Neilson misinterpreted

What a random, needlessly filled weekend. Friday, I slept in, played the piano and finished recording "Break it Down EP", of which you should all illegally acquire a copy. Then came the infamous all night movie night at the Galaxy. I froze outside beforehand with lots of fake little people. The movies were ok and I saw "Envy" and "Mean Girls" for the first time. I meant to see "Paycheck" but the film melted and only had one showing which I missed. I met a nice person there through my friend Lorenz.

Saturday, I got up relatively early to go to Christina's soccer game with Chris. We (Chris and I) ended up hanging out until about 5. I played the piano, but felt quite lethargic. Lorenz came over dinner and we jammed and watch "Bean: The Movie". I stayed up too late for my own good that night.

Sunday, I went to Church and practiced the song. I wrote a couple chord progressions which are kind of sad, but harmonic (as opposed to melodic). I finished downloading a sweet Silverchair video which has been in progress since my previous life. I, subsequently, met up with Devin, Lorenz, Ruiz, April and Amanda to record a music video for Dev. This involved jamming in the garage, shunning Amanda at 7-11, eating pizza, joking around, hanging out.....and cetera until 10:30 when it was over. Devin was significantly happier with the recording than last time.

I am now wallowing in emotions, ranging from contentness to happiness to sorrow to contemplativeness to rocking (if that is a state of being) while writing this entry. I shall be quite tired tomorrow.

"I gotta get away from here...I miss the one that I love a lot...I love"

Ruto, 81 cents, 45 posts

Visit my independant music download site to listen to some awesome updated recordings of classics and one new song, "Making Plans". I'd have to say that they are my best recordings yet and I highly recommend them.

Tonight (or tomorrow morning, rather) is the all night movie night. I look forward to it each year and there are many good movies which I have not seen. Today, I've worked on recording 3 songs including "Shades of Gray". Two previously recorded, but crappily done, songs for which I've also recorded tracks are "Social Animal" and "Revolutionary Revolution".
All in all, combined with a sweet sleep in and piano practice, today is an awesome day. I love pro-d days.

"Are you listening to the sound of life. Initiative can go pretty far." (name that song)

Peaceful...actually Placid is a better word

Yesterday (Thursday) was a very satisfying day. As I sit here at the computer listening to Velvet Revolver I find myself quite contented. I was exceptionally tired as I trudged off to student council. I made it through my school day, including choir, with a vague attitude of serenity somehow. I went to piano lessons. Afterwards I found out that I most likely won't be able to go to my cousin's house on Remembrance Day. This, strangely, did not irk me as much as it should. I was in a decidedly odd state of contemplation, reminiscience and placidness.

In the evening I proceeded to Amanda's house where there was much discussion of social lives and difficulties. I played very little part in that and just sat back and watched. At 10:45 I headed home and went on the computer. Subsequently, I headed down to Amay's house and had a 20 minute talk about life in general. I always feel tranquil when talking with Amay with no fear of being judged or mocked by what I say.

Tomorrow is the shiznay. I get to sleep in, hopefully record some stuff, have drum lessons, hang out with devin, ruiz, lorenz, emily, april, et al. What up to that?

"She can't let go and she can't relax and just before she hangs her head to cry I sing..."

What are we to do?

That was a rhetorical question btw. I delayed blogging until I had something really cool to talk about...well as least I am excited about it. I am definitely going to visit my cousin on Remembrance Day weekend from thursday to sunday. Also my music application for the band called "Ruto" was accepted.
Ruto was an arbitrarily chosen band name with no meaning in it whatsoever. I used that name for my independant recordings which should be up within days. I'll have the URL for you devoted fans in a day or two. Friday is a professional development day and the all night movie night so it possesses double goodness and should be quite exciting.
As of late I have been excessively tired. I am taking my NLS and arbitrarily stay up late on weeknights anyways. Well that is my update on life. Post comments saying what song the following quote is from:

"I don't need this aggravation staring at me each and every day."


OH and the dollar it at 80 cents. what up to that? I love Canada.

Yeah. It's over now, what'cha gonna do tomorrow

No it isn't you sean. That last entry was provocative even to myself. Hopefully, I can get over my own angst. I'll have a better entry for you tomorrow. It is late and I must sleep.

"Move aside and let the man go through."

Time passes me by.

As usual time is passing me by while I sit aimlessly at school. The clock in the choir room doesn't have enough power to move the second hand, but I am aware of time ticking on despite this. My weekend was quite eventful in the way that it changed me and my opinions of many people.

I mentioned the first thing on my last blog entry. On sunday, however, I was very tired and irritable. It was at about 8 o'clock that I realized what made me so irked. The egotism, selfcenteredness and selfishness of one of my friends. He is really cool to talk to and hanging out with him; I've had a couple really good talks.

Recently, on multiple occassions, I have become quite irritated and frustrated, but could not put my finger on the reason why. I realized that anonymous "friend" is very selfconcerned. For example, every time I try to tell him a story he interupts it and tells his own. This is just one of many instances in which his being exasperated, grated, riled, roiled, peeved, inflamed, bothered, bugged, infuriated, affronted, chafed, maddened, abraded or aggravated me. I don't often become irked with people and I'm disappointed that this happened, but his nature gets on my nerves every so often.

On another note, I may get to visit my cousin, Jacob, who recently moved to Calgary. He isn't very happy there, so I'm going to fly there on Remembrance Day weekend and spend four days in snowy Calgary. I'm ultra excited if that works out and I'm also looking forward to the movie night this Friday. All in all, life is a game, school is boring, good friends and brothers are awesome, music is a drug, s/o can be high maintenance, an independant capitalist is free.

"Some kind of verb, Some kind of moving thing, Something unseen, Some hand is motioning to rise, to rise, to rise"

Allusions Welcome Here

I love it when people allude to things (esp. things I know) on my blog. This may include songs, historic events, famous figures, famous quotes or Magic Card flavour text. That last entry was just a heads up on my existence, for nothing exciting happened in my life. This entry, however, will be filled with fleeting adventures of my youth.
On Friday I dressed as Napoleon Dynamite to attend Wellington Secondary just for kicks. (it was pajama day, out of which I don't get much) It was quite amusing and about 10 ppl recognized me as the aforementioned motion picture character, therefore I considered it a success. hehe. yup 10 out of 1050 is a success:

Well that evening Devin, Alleah, Sean, Lorenz and I started on Devin's "My Life 2" project. The first 2 hours went exceptionally well, but at 9:30 we had to stop due to the disturbance to our neighbours. "How much sound does a taping video camera make exactly?" you ask. But what you don't understand is that we had the drums and guitar amp set up in my garage, and we were making excessive noise.

The acoustics were incredible in the garage and the sound was amplified by the random wood/cement walls somehow. (No I don't mean acoustic songs. I actually had somebody think that, sadly enough).

I am blessed with many great friends. Some of my best friends are Devin Wilhelmson, Kevin Dobson, Christopher Ruiz and Lorenz is becoming a good friend as well. I also appreciate my many acquaintances and varying friendships with unpredictable ppl.

This weekend I had to deal with unpredictable randomness which was kind of lame, but I am better now. The confuse-brad factor was just off the charts and I couldn't handle it. In the end I was called lazy, but I was okay with that. Somehow I don't take lazy as a really harsh insult. However, if you made up some evil sounding word to call me, I might become irked. (ie. borge, fant, plig). My existence is defined by an intricate support network of friends and acquaintances. By having this, minor social setbacks are cushioned and I don't become emotionally destroyed by break-ups. "What up to that," is all I have to say.

Thanks for reading my sweetest entry in a while.

"This has got to be the worst film ever made."

Down with the Funk

More and More and More FUNK. Funk it up. mmmmmm. I worship a good funk song.

Supposedly, assumedly, presumedly with halogen lights

Today was SWEET. Well actually, nothing at all exciting or relevant to anything happened. A relatively average day to maintain contentness. I did a ridicluously easy chemistry test, finished the movie on the Salem Witch Trials and had piano lessons. Afterwards April, Emily and Lorenz came over where we did some random things. I worked out for 20 minutes. (just enough to be pumped, but not enough to be exhausted).
Tomorrow, we start filming Devin's new project, "My Life 2", at my house. That should be cool.
Today Mrs. Martin gave me this scholarship application for $3,000. To win it, however, one must be attending a BC university and taking sciences. That same person, if they win, will work at the TRIUMF facility for 6 weeks in the summer and then, only then, win the award. Much to hardcore and specific if you ask me, but I'll apply anyways and most likely decline if I win.
"It's amazing...it's awesome...........incredible"

Fear and Ignorance

My English 12 class is starting to learn of the Crucible and the events leading up to to it. We are watching a movie depicting the Salem witch trials and Mr. Poppy continually tells us that fear and ignorance are a dangerous combination. It is saddening to know that the events in the movie actually happened in real life.

Tonight I'm taking my first NLS swimming lesson, so I hope it isn't too hardcore. As for life in general, it is pretty random and tiring though I don't know why. I feel really bogged down with everything, but I don't particularly feel overloaded, if that makes any sense. I have tons of stuff which will just sort itself with time, but cannot be rushed. Weekends are what I look forward to and are often much more relaxing than they should be. (I should be doing more work during the weekend).

Luckily, I have lots of great friends with whom I can converse. I shall not just aimlessly drift through life and in the next month I will work harder and be satisfied.

"The defect in this one is bleach...Yesssssssss."

Tight pants and blood.

Hehe attention grabber, but its true. It started yesterday after church. I went to Ruiz's house and Dev, chris and I walked to 7-11 where we bought slurpees. The pepsi flavour actually tasted like blood. (I thought chris was just being an idiot, but then I tried it) It had a horrible aftertaste which was blood-like. :S:S:S.....gross.

Then Dev, Chris, mike clark and beerens proceeded to the avalon to see napoleon dynamite. Ruiz and I both dressed in tight pants and cheesy shirts (mine was like a tight sweater shirt). We went to walmart and I did a "napoleon-run" out of the door and the security guard gave me an evil look like I was stealing something.

We all went back to chris's house and slept over. At midnight everyone was just playing video games so Devin and I went for a 3 hour walk randomly in the Sherwood Forest area and to departure bay. At departure bay there was people having sex in the bush by the kin hut (or so we presumed) because then the cops came and they ran out saying things like "put yourself together, quick". Devin and I had a really good long talk about tons of stuff.
Today was average, but I get thanksgiving dinner tonight. w00t. Another thing I'm doing right now is looking at my older blog posts. ahhhh reminiscence. It is really cool to have a blog to look back on one's life. Anyways, sorry for the length of this post. I bet the dollar will close above 80 cents one day this week.....Yesssssssssssssssssssssssssss

"We both know I'm training to be a cage fighter.""Since when Kip? You have the worst reflexes of all time!"

S>C>I>E>N>C>E

Imagine your brain as a canister filled with ink
yeah, now think of your body as the pen where the ink resides
Fuse the two: KAPOW!!! what are you now?
You're the human magic marker won't you please surprise my eyes?

Picture the scene, where whatever you thought,
would, in the blink of an eye, manifest and become illustrated
You'd be sure man that every line drawn reflected a life that you loved
not an existence that you hated

Live in the moment...Idiot...

Today was quite a fun day. I made a deal with my mom that I could watch a movie last night if I woke up at 10 today; hence, I got up exactly at 10 o'clock. I thought Inga was coming to my place at 12 or 1230 but was surprised at 1130 when she showed up, but I wasn't ready yet. ( no contacts, antiperspirant, brushed teeth) ack.
We went to the mall, came back to my house and ate. Chris, Lorenz and Rike came over to my place and we all drove to see Napoleon Dynamite. Chris and I had a GREAT time and I think the FES did as well as it IS one of the best movies of our time. After the movie everybody was dropped of at their respective domiciles except for Lorenz and me. I ended up going to his house until midnight and we talked about tons of stuff.
"Break the wrist and walk away...break the wrist, walk away" - Rex-kwon-do

What if this? What if that?

Today was more work than I bargained for. Of course, I bargained for none, but Mr. Poppy and Mr. Gordon had other ideas in mind. I tutored a girl from dover after school rather successfully, though I never feel that I help people at the time. Ahhhh... some "infinitely wise" person down in Victoria unanimously voted that there shall be a non-fiction section on the provincial. Thank goodness...something w/o multiple interpretations.
We recently purchased a USB Hub and it is really sweet. Mmmm the transfer rate is virtually unchanged and a multitude of USB devices can function normally through it. a random insertion of thought....some ppl are so nice and say the nicest things....I was on msn when this strain of thought came to mind. . my entry = short and sweet
"I never think, I never thought, oh maybe I'm insane! I think I like being way the heck out of my brain!"

Lake House Vid

Today I saw the lake house 2004 video, directed and edited by none other than Devin Wilhelmson. It was exceptional as usual and quite fast paced. A well made movie and the outtakes were awesome as well. Today was a very slack day. After a test first block in English, I proceeded to do next to no work in chemistry, play the piano during my spare and then have band. After school I just hung out with Ruiz and Devin in the fog.

Yah the fog was pretty hardcore. We went to departure bay but couldn't even see the water when sitting at 7-11. We also climbed sugarloaf Mtn. where devin subsequently acted like he forgot to take his "pills" and Ruiz was fooled into thinking there was something wrong with him. It was quite funny and Devin kept up his charade for almost 20 minutes.

It was an evening of phone calls to various business and personal acquaintances. Somebody from Dover phoned to get tutoring, and I phoned Inga. Rather productive I'd say as I shall go to bed in a content state (mainly cuz I have a spare first thing 2morO :P )

"Looking in my rearview mirror, I can make it disappear"

herzlichst, Brad

After much teasing about being a guy with a blog at school, I have returned to post again. haha. I showed some ppl at school, but I didn't really care what they thought. Anyways, not to jinx it or anything, but you do realize that the dollar is almost 80 cents. 20 bucks says that there will be some extensive article in the paper on that.
Today i went to Woodgrove to meet people there, mainly Inga, April, Emily and Lorenz. Chris surprised me by being there cuz he said he'd be in parksville and I also ended up meeting Melissa, Katherine, Lina, Christina and some more ppl but I can't recall their names. I saw some ppl at the mall whom I knew: Allison, Dana, Shira and some others. some of us proceeded to my place for music, dinner and movie. Very stereotypical action movies were chosen so I did not watch the second one and did other things instead.
Driving on the Parkway in a Honda Oddessey is the sheeznay (sp?) I don't think it matters how you spell that word. but yeah. 90-110 are nice speeds to make ones massive minivan move at. I have idiot box stuck in my head, but I don't care because it is a cool song.

"Let me see past the fatuous knocks, I gotta rid myself of this idiot box, let you see past the feathers and flocks and have us plant a bomb in this idiot box. From the depths of the seas, to the tops of the tress, to the seat of a Lay-Z-Boy.......STARING AT A SILVER SCREEN"