University

hahaha. I've finally applied for university. I chose my faculty and paid those stupid application fees and everything. I've also applied for residence. It took like 2 hours, where I made important decisions and it feels good to be done. Maybe not done, but at least on my way to a post-secondary institution. k bye

How to be Persuasive

My friend introduced me to a very funny website; perhaps it was just funny last night because I was so tired, but there is now a link to it on the side of my blog. As for my snare, I got a Taye, shallow, maple, normal drum because that is what the guy in the store suggested to my mom. :S:S:S:S Ack. Anyways, the one I borrowed from the school is a deep, steel shell, Pearl free-floating system so I don't think you can get much more different. However, I may be able to go look at snares this week and exchange. I believe I'll be just ditching my piece of crap westbury, unless of course anybody wants it. I'll probably "accidentally" leave it in the band room and unquestionably some douche of a drummer will love it or perhaps Ms. Luvisotto's warped sense of good drums will like it as a "jazz snare". psht psht psht.

Ah, I do not know about the ribbed sweater. I believe it is for "her" pleasure though. ;) Haha, so true Kevin. Chip does look like Langdon, and I don't believe that is a good thing unless he is turning into some juvenile delinquent. :P Yes, Nanaimo winters are pretty brutal. It just means that it will rain so you can't do anything outside. grrrrrr. I managed to piss someone off this morning before I even got out of bed. I was sleeping/groggy and said a couple agreeable phrases like "ok", "yup" and "sure". Then said person got quite angry and I hadn't even fully woke up. Ack. Well I have piano in 20 min. so I'll c ya later.

PHEW

Whistler was awesome. I mean how can it not be. It is the best ski resort in North America, though there may be some rivals in Colorado. I'd love to ski in Colorado; maybe I'll go to university there for that sole purpose. It snowed 20 cm our first day at Whistler and then we had two gorgeous sunny days. With some skill, I found some nice snow on every day up on the peak chair. I'm scared of the lines on the Harmony Chair. Though it was icy and rocky, I had many awesome runs down the saddle, whistler bowl and frontier pass. I had one brutal fall on my back of the closed West Bowl from hidden ice chunks under deceivingly beautiful powder.

Christmas rocked something or other. I got some useful things that made me a little bit happier. I got the Nirvana box set, a nice Calvin Klein ribbed sweater, a sweet dress watch from Amay, a guitar necklace, Paradise Lost and the Illiad, the Closure CD from Alana, a beautiful painting from Bethany, a jazz snare drum and some food. Sorry to those that I didn't reply to their email. My email is gimped right now and won't even come to my house. I dislike webmail. Wow, that wasn't actually that much to say. I applied to the Wendy's Classic Achiever scholarship the day before the deadline. Yessssss. K bye

Whistler Entry

Well i'm at Whistler Creekside and this is the computer that I'm using. I believe it is a pentium I so it is kind of slow. I'm amazed that I can do anything on it. We have a dial-up connection so I can do some meager tasks in cyberspace. I'll write more about Christmas when i get home and am not paying by the minute on the internet. G'bye.

Christmas Eve Entry

w00t.

Social Lives

Present troubles 24-7. Always people are disappointed or excited about them. I never know what to do. What would be the "right" thing to do? Or what would make me feel happy at the end of the day? Then, I wonder what the point of a social life is if I don't worry about applying to universities and pursuing other such goals. This blog entry is turning out stupid.

I've had this problem before once or twice, but my solutions were kind of messed and I don't believe my reasoning was sound. I don't think Kevin would have agreed with it. I must set a sweet goal and strive for it, though I have no idea what it should be. I shall write my philosophy on religion in an upcoming entry. Hopefully it will be as hardcore as it is in my mind. Merry Christmas to all.

Party was Sweet

People I thought would come, did come. People I didn't think would come, didn't come. That is about it. Not a moment of privacy for anyone, which is good in a sense. Presents were exchanged, but Alleah forgot to bring something to my party which I needed. Noooooooo. What ever am I going to do? Well, for one, next semester I'm going to read Paradise Lost and the Illiad: two works of art. I'm looking forward to that, but university applications may take up too much of my time, esp. trying to figure out online one's after sifting through reams of information about the university's pompous research.

I should post more.

Well, I shall relate my holidays. Saturday, I practiced piano, had coffee with an acquaintance, went Christmas shopping, went to youth group to practice lines for a Christmas play and then saw Blade: Trinity with the male members of my family. Sunday, I went to church, worked out and went to an awesome Christmas music night at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Monday was the student council party which turned out cool except Rahim didn't come; following that I jammed with Richard, Colin and David, Ruiz and E. Sag came over, that evening I hung out with Rahim and Ruiz and we rented Dodgeball which was hilarious. Today, I had a mock piano exam, another rehearsal for the Christmas Eve play, now I'm vegging out at the computer.
I'm done my christmas shopping, but at the mall last night I bought some cheese that I didn't need, so I'm going to be more careful with my money. I'm ultra excited about wednesday, so I hope you can come.

I Like Sonnets

I have composed 3 sonnets that go in a discernable order. For those of you who care to read them, here are my efforts at Spenserian sonnets:

Sonnet I

Until this day I thought my soul as one;
Appraised as flawless by a jeweler's hand,
But now it dawns that spirits must succumb
To love it breaks and crumbles to a sand.

The crystals of my shattered heart do stand
A moment only; shards of diamond fly
Upheaved so strong they scatter o'er the land
And through despairing hours and days I cry.

While gazing in those dazzling clear blue eyes
I realize this; my heart is cleaved in two;
Affected not by time or how I try
A sliver of my heart remains with you.

Regret I mix with admiration so
With you I part and on my way I go.

Sonnet II

Throughout a drought of feeling perseveres
A shred of seemliness to call my own;
Amazingly the light of life allures
To my corroded heart which softly moans.

Indulging in this shred of good I grow
Towards the rays that nurture every soul;
A life beloved modestly and shown
Is striven for but backwards do I roll.

As helpless as a mottled newborn foal
I flounder in this endless world of pain,
And duly note emotions taking toll
But seemingly presented is no gain.

My scraps of broken heart that faintly groan
Attempt to subtly make these feelings known.

Sonnet III

A biting, gnawing token of the past
Sits idly in my mind so caustically,
Sustaining unappreciated fast
Cognitions that affect reality.

Opposing viewpoints do fight bitterly
But resolution comes not from these feuds,
For I have felt a rush ecstatically
Of sentiment engraved and deeper moods.

My thoughts unraveled and my heart unglued
Did convalesce from kind words meant sincere,
From unmixed friendship offered pure by you;
Affinity so cloudy yet so clear.

Nirvana is achieved when one has found
A simple loving friend who forms one's ground.

And there you have it: my series of sonnets. I apologize for the second one being so caustic. Anyways, hope to see you at my social gathering.

Tired Week

This is my tired week. I have devoted it to negligence of my sleeping duties to my body. The band concert last night was two and a half hours, which is more than enough to fatigue me beyond functionality. I can't wait for these last two days of school to be over.

Amay, I, oh so desparately, want to act. lol. I'm all about the action and getting things done, but I often feel that waiting until I can give it my 110% is the best idea. What if the past gives you a knot in your stomach when you think about it? Remebering it forever wouldn't be the hottest thing, but if you didn't remember it then you could potentially make the same mistake again. noooo...not doublethink.

If I forgot the past and it was not written down it would be as though it never happened. I mean, maybe it didn't ever happen. If somebody erases all record of the World Wars and doesn't pass the knowledge to any children then, in 125 years, the two World Wars will not be remembered. Not only won't they be remembered, but they will never have happened. For those living at that time, those two great wars will not be part of the past.

Who is to say that one year ago, I did not have the greatest time of my life, go to Hawaii with somebody I love, spend a week there and then come home. I mean, if I took no photos and then somebody convinced me it was just a dream, then it never happened. But it did. So maybe your dreams are things that did happen but you made yourself forget them, or register them as subconcious anomalies. However, stuff I regret did happen and people remember it and I wrote some of it down so it will forever be a part of me.

Lately, I've been practically crying with how good a book 1984 is. I'm on page 200 where Goldstein relates his manifesto and it is just tear-jerkingly awesome: like a great funk beat. I'm almost done my Christmas shopping and hope to finish it up this weekend. That's all for now. Oh yah, I also happened to write another sonnet. I may put it in my next post if people want to read it.

Short Post

This is going to be a short post because this monitor is really bright and I'm tired. Over the past 2 weeks our family has purchased 2 new computers. One is a compaq: P4, 2.8 gHz, 512 mb of RAM, 80 gb harddrive, built-in crap video chip, DVD player, presumably 40x CD player/24x burner, wireless network, 17 " flat screen monitor. It is presently in our kitchen and I am using it. The other is a powerhouse Dell, but not a server: P4, 3.4 gHz, 1 gb of RAM, 200gb hard drive, 128 mb graphics card, dvd drive, 40x burner, 19" flat screen. It is sweet.

Today was tiring. I went to church on time only to find out that I should have been there 30 min early to usher and I forgot. :(:(:( but I helped with the offering to fulfil at least half of my duties. I went home, practiced piano, and went back to the church from 2-730 to help with the youth group dinner. Now I'm home, and tired, and blogging, and probably going to crash within the hour.

I am reluctant to put things behind me. I have this really weird idea (not my only one ;) of integrating my past, present and future all into one. I have yet to figure out how to do it though. I believe it is the next step in evolution, because why should one half of your life be unchangeable (the past) and one half dependant on what you do now (the future). Why can't you select what is changeable and put what you like into the archives that are the past. Mreh. I have another theory, developed partly from "What the bleep do we know?", to relate in a forthcoming post...

"BOOM!!!"

said Mr. Bean as he looked at his giant wad of crackers. haha. Yeh Chris, April and I rented that this evening. Today was quite productive for me. I practiced the piano, rode my bike to woodgrove (good exercise) and did some Christmas shopping. People are stressed.

I am thinking of having a Christmas gathering sometime after school gets out; the problem is that so many of my friends and acquaintances don't get along or just plain don't know one another. It is because of the faulty way that high school social hierarchies are organized. Some people are confined to being "popular" and don't get to know anybody else because their other "popular" friends wouldn't like them anymore if they did.

I quite enjoy liberal studies, much to my surprise, but I think I'll continue them only as a hobby as to keep them as enjoyable and unstressful as possible. Next semester I intend to broaden my horizons of literature greatly, and any suggestions on what novels to read are welcome. I intend to read "Animal Farm" for one, and perhaps give "Paradise Lost" a crack. I shall use my spare time to write poetry and songs. yesssss. I'm looking forward to next semester. Also, I'll work out more often (at least once a week). Since these words are all in print you can hold me to them.

I have the task of finding a date for prom with whom I want to go. Hopefully I'll stumble across somebody that knocks me off my feet as I have in the past. Combined with scholarship and university applications I should at least have something to occupy me for my last semester of high school. I'm looking forward to Christmas this year (not like that's different from any other year), but I'm looking forward to the familiness of it this year. We are going up to Whistler on Christmas day for half a week or so and meeting up with my Dad's family. I intend to enjoy myself.

The concept of "never" has not registered with me yet. My mind, being contained in a finite amount of space, cannot imagine an infinity. It tries, and knows what it needs to understand, but cannot fully understand it. Right now, it thinks in a way that says "There is always tomorrow" and "A day will come when it will work out". The feeling that I have missed an opportunity that will NEVER come back because I screwed up so badly is an intensely horrendous and corrosive feeling. It makes me feel sort of helpless or hopeless inside. An example is the fact that I will die and never, ever, ever walk this Earth again, forever. What I find sadder is if I botch something that means a lot to me, entirely unintentionally or due to unpreparedness, and never have a chance at it again.

Dying malcontented would be the worst feeling that anybody could imagine. This unchangeable state of the past makes me love it for the great moments I've had and hate it for the opportunities I've missed and incredible mistakes I've made. Anybody have any suggestions on how to make amends with the past or at least come to accept it? One of the reasons I've been feeling weird lately is because I'm not at peace with the past...

My Gosh

Stuff stuff stuff is what christmas seems to be about. Events, buying things, and decorating. and I'm busy busy busy with this stuff. Jazz gigs, choir performances, chemistry titrations, English explications, getting made fun off because my shirt is wrinkled, grad photos, principal's list luncheon, practicing piano, studying for SAT's, buying things, thinking, reading. &cetera.

Sorry to readers who want more things to read. sometimes I think nobody reads them anyways, so there is no point. Well, I'll be going now, hopefully, I have less sporadic posts, but I have no control over that, do I?

mmmshopping

I move slow like a turtle. I really like the angles on Sean's jacket, but the fog in Tommy Hilfiger was too much for me. That was fun. My gosh what a funny trip. Anyways, slow is how fast I move. Unfortunately the uneventful shopping center lacked H-L-A. Sean was really cool though...um... dev can be some a jack ass though. I lack the angles.

New Blog

Yeh, I don't know CGI or how to do forms unfortunately, and I don't think blogger would host any CGI that I did. :(:( w/e. photobucket wouldn't host any larger of a picture and I didn't want it to go fuzzy. Also, it is a huge pic for ppl's computers to dl when they view my page.

Chirstmas Sesh

It is the beginning of the session that is Chrismas and more secularly, winter. I wasted my time working on a new blog template and this is the fruits of my effort. No it is not done, and I'm eager on any tips. Those tips must be accompanied with the respective HTML regarding how to implement the tips. Enjoy!

SAT studying is going well. Grade 10 piano isn't being practiced as much as I should. I'm going to Metrotown on Saturday...Yessssssss. and am quite excited about that. Well that's the pith of my life. C ya