Quantum Physics

I took the advice of a certain pea and went to "What the bleep do we know?". It turns out we know very little. That movie superceded my expectations. It was totally different from what I thought it was going to be and impressed me on so many levels. Now I want to study quantum physics, theology, philosophy and biology all intertwined at University. lol.

Besides watching an enlightening movie, I also went shopping twice today. I cannot say that I bought anything for other people. :(:( nonononononononononono. I did, however, find a couple ideas for presents which I shall go out and get at a later date. Well social messers are a constancy in my life. Ack. K i'm done

Spenserian

I wrote another song in the style of Van Halen. I sincerely apologize for all of this poetry talk, but it has snagged my attention. Kevin and I were feeling random and hardcore so we decided to simulatneously write a sonnet. His ended up being in Petrarchan form while mine was in Spenserian form. This happens to be the first sonnet I ever wrote so I could arbitrarily assign a roman numeral in a trite manner; however, I chose to leave it untitled:

Until this day I thought my soul as one;
Appraised as flawless by a jeweler's hand,
But now it dawns that spirits must succumb
To love it breaks and crumbles to a sand.

The crystals of my shattered heart do stand
A moment only; shards of diamond fly
Upheaved so strong they scatter o'er the land
And through despairing hours and days I cry.

While gazing in those dazzling clear blue eyes
I realize this; my heart is cleaved in two;
Affected not by time or how I try
A sliver of my heart remains with you.

Regret I mix with admiration so
With you I part and on my way I go.

Yay or nay??? comment below.

Bummer

I got to explain what "bummer" meant to one of my foreign exchange student friends. I was fatigued today. It started off with me going to bed. ack. Band was relatively cool and I can feel my jazz drumming and feel improving. I did some chemistry homework during my spare and lunch. Chemistry was easy and we did a lab. We had a student teacher try out teaching our class.
RE Kevin: haha. I know what you mean with the translating poetry. The student teacher first showed us some of the Canterbury Tales. Feeling hardcore ?:

134: In surrye whilom dwelte a compaignye
135: Of chapmen riche, and therto sadde and trewe
136: That wyde-where senten hir spicerye
137: Clothes of gold, and satyns riche of hewe

Feeling even more hardcore? How about 8th century Anglo-Saxon:

He aerest sceop
aelda bearnum
Heofon to hrofe,
halig Scyppend.

Luckily for us, her lesson actually consisted of metaphysical poetry; esp. John Donne. We did "A Valediction Forbidding Mourning" and another of his works. That was relatively cool and she understood the poetry quite well. For the record, I know almost nothing about poetry, so do not begin to assume that I am well-learned or learned at all in this field. I merely find it interesting and could not hold my own in a poetry debate. I know what I learn from the school cirriculum and the few infrequent poems that are introduced to me by friends such as Amay and Kevin who are much more inclined to the liberal arts.

I was wondering if anybody could tell me what meter this poem is in. I guess trochaic tetrameter. :S

Love, how tensile takes us through
Years of childhood learned and grew
Into adolescence we
Doubted not that we were free.

Though our person changes much
By each other's word and touch,
Ne'er unknow the purity
Held by youth so playfully.

Ever reminisce of when
Envy, pride were last of ten
Bring this brocard where you may:
Strangers feel in agnate ways.

Pray this faith will pass on to
Times that come...we will be true.

The Triumph of Time

Ah I love slowly, but surely, getting through my "to do" list and ticking things off. There is just so much satisfaction in checking boxes and crossing things out. Unfortunately, with time also comes lost opportunities and unfixable mistakes; in this way time conquers all. I love couplets and English provides me with ample such devices for my reading pleasure. I figure that disliking poetry to go along with the crowd makes it all the more difficult to understand and appreciate. I have a better chance of success by trying to relate to the poem, admire its goodness and, therefore, have no qualms about reading it.

" It will grow not again, it is ruined at root,
The bloodlike blossom, the dull red fruit; "

" Lose life, lose all; but at least I know,
O sweet life's love, having loved you so, "

The Road not Taken

We did that poem in English yesterday and I was glad to say I knew it. It is quite a relevant poem for the point in my life at which I am. Ah yes, I did have a long talk with Bethany while waiting for Amay to awake from her grumpy much disturbed state of rest.

Yesterday was insanely busy with school to 3, choir to 4:30, an hour to come home and eat, then off to volunteer at the port theater until 10:30. ack. So much stuff in my life right now, I can't explain: looking at universities, looking at summer activities/jobs, christmas shopping, grad photos, grad clothing, english, chemistry, choir, piano, drums, scholarship applications, scholastic aptitude tests, a sliver of time for friends; the minute amount of time left over for myself I try to spend playing the guitar, just to relax.

Vitamin R

I have no wisdom for the world. Sunday, I performed at a piano recital and talked to Amay in the evening. Yesterday, I went to school, came home to work on a poetry assignment and went to the NAC to pass my NLS. Finally, I'm done. It took up 4 hours, two days a week and those were week days, when I needed to valuable time to do my hw and piano practice.

Lately, I've been looking at colleges and universities quite often. There are multitudes of choices to make, courses to pick, universities to go to and jobs at which to work. I still have no idea what to study, but I've narrowed it down somewhat: B.A.Sc., B.Sc., B.Com. Those undergraduate studies all appeal to me in one way or another. It seems, though, that there are a million universities to choose from, between the states and Canada. Such names that stick out are McMaster, Cornell, Penn, UBC, U of W, University of Colorado, Waterloo, and the list goes on.

I'm off to school now; I hope to have a better blog entry later.

Harvest Ball

(Blogger was being a piece today, or maybe it was just my computer, but I wrote this blog post this morning and saved it before blogger could erase it. The time has been altered to show the time at which the post was composed.)

Yesterday was pretty melancholy until the evening. I slept in a little, got up, had a shower, and ate Vector. Worked on my English essay for about 3 hours; it turned out well. I proceeded to go Christmas shopping for my mom with my Dad and my two brothers. We got her some cool stuff and then I ate NY fries for dinner. I saw a couple people I knew at the mall and had maybe 5 minute talks w/ each of them. My Mom is in Vancouver now, but the guys in my family wanted to go to "National Treasure"; however, despite my wanting to see this movie, I wasn't feeling very good so I declined. I also declined offers to go to Amanda's house for a gathering of sorts and to hang out with Lorenz.

So I dejectedly walked down to Amay's house, who was not home. HOWEVER, she pulled up from work just as I was leaving, and I was invited in. :D I ended up going to the Harvest Ball at her church which was just what I needed to cheer me up. I saw some ppl there that I hadn't seen in a long time (Deanna, Tuula, Mathieu, parts of Amay's family, Ian). Jesse was there and I also met another Brad and another Mike. I unfortunately didn't get to dance with Amay :(:( because she was dancing with other guys and at the end of the dance there was no slow songs left. We went back to her place and watched part of White Christmas and when I needed to go, both Amay and Bethany were sleeping soundly in their respective seats in front of the TV.

"Something reached out and touched me; now I know all I want:
I want the Best...of...Both...Worlds"

Interpret this.

What a random day. I listened to Van Halen for the duration of it. Jammed after school for someone who wants to sing summertime for the winter concert. also jammed with a saxophonist on nostalgia in times square with me playing the piano. that was sweet. Started out an average day going to English and doing very little on my essay, going to chemistry and learning of logs and pH and pOH and [H3O+]. . . etc Then at lunch I hung out with different ppl than usual. Subsequently went to spare which was quite a bumpy ride and went into reverse in the middle of it. Jazz band I just wanted to play Poundcake on the drums really loud so I wasn't quite satisfied there. I just visited an empty house and came back here. today I heard something unbelievable.

Definitions

That is part of the title of my new song. My new song uses much new vocabulary that I've learned from my SAT studiousness. It can be succinctly desribed in several words: average, half-emo w/ a catchy chorus. I was inspired by the new Green Day single, for I am often inspired by awesome songs.

RE: to mel. I don't like to hog the many springs in my queen size bed when other ppl could make use of them. What up to mormons. they make the world a better place. I am relatively disdainful of sean's hogging of alleah from her duties at school. I feel detached from reality sometimes :S I may perhaps write an explicit record of my feelings; typically, I prefer artful, subtle entries to blunt ones.

Ah yes, the quietness. I find quietness is quite good for analyzing people and "finding out just how full of [crap] they are" - Jackie Chan - Rush Hour. I've met people over the years who share a similar observant personality and it proves to be effective. It is intriguing to just watch other's actions and if nothing else, just listen to what they have to say. Most people like to talk, so I just listen and think while they talk talk talk. Also, a quote which I found to be quite true I shall try to paraphrase: True friends are people who you can enjoy doing absolutely nothing with. Anyways, 'tis truly late.

VAN HALEN ROCKS. they are AWESOME. I just wonder what it would be like to be one of the sweetest guitarists in the world. Yah Eddie Van Halen.

Detached

I feel very detached from reality. Today was just a pitifully pointless day. I went through it in a torpor and basically did not physically function at all. I listened to my mp3 player, played the drums a little, played the piano a little, studied for the SAT, had a sub in my two academic classes. What a write-off. Oh yah, I also had a stomach ache during my piano lesson.

It wasn't a feeling of indolence; it was more an aberrant lack of motivation. Not a cool feeling. psht, psht. I need some sort of tonic to relieve me of my enervate state. An intangible, impalpable source of motivation, for it isn't just sleep or food that I lack.

Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me

For the record, I am not against religion as it may have seemed in previous entries. They served to improve my arguing skills even if I do not believe in a topic I'm arguing for. That is a sweet skill for lawyers; however, I don't intend to be a lawyer. just a cool skill to have anyways.

I do fully concur with Amay that it is very difficult to have to faith. Today, I had an indescribable feeling which I believe to be the presence of God or some ethereal entity. In those moments in life I have faith; however, in others, when I may be feeling "down", I have difficulty doing so. :( :( :(This is, of course, a fault of mine which I must strive to correct.

Recall past entry: "RE: Philosphy". I, there, described living with no regrets. I fail to live up to my own expectations and wish to change how I handled some situations. I abhor time.

"I walk this empty street on the boulevard of broken dreams"

Perspicacity/Perspicaciousness if you will

Yet another day passes with no boredom; just endless thinking. "A philosopher is never bored" - Me. I am in a constant state of reevaluation and revision of my life. Last night, I lay tossing and turning in my oversized bed thinking. Numerous ideas came to mind, but one echoed through the silence. Friendship and companionship are part of the essence of one's life. I know I persist in claiming to know the "essence of life", but otherwise nobody would listen. lol jk. but yeah, see subsequent paragraphs for supporting evidence:

People, in general, want to be part of something larger. They want others to accept them and to think they are cool. Whether they achieve this by conforming, starting a new fad, drinking, joining a religion, rebelling against society (w/ their millions of rebel friends) or just being normal, each person has a group of people to whom they can relate. It is a select few of these people who share similar interests, who become your friends. You may share 1 interest or 10 interests, but that cohesion binds you and makes your life a little/lot better.

So mad props to friends. Also, people who stick to their word, even when things are mentioned in passing, are the basis of our society. When people say that they'll do things, it is quite upholding if they follow through with their promise. I apologize if I am ever unable to come through as I should. There are two solutions the the problem of letting others down:

Firstly, one can get a handy dandy planner and only commit when they are absolutely sure of their availability. One can also reject subsequent offers or give ambiguous responses to those they are unsure of. Polite, but forthright declines are acceptable. Secondly, just do what you are committed to; yes, even if it sucks. ie. volunteering when you feel horrible, because you said you would. If I ever let you (yes, you) down on my word then I offer my presumptuous apologies.

"I walk a lonely road: the only one that I have ever known. Don't know where it goes, but its home to me and I walk alone...Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me..."

*plz don't hold me liable for previous entries' content for I was really tired. :(

The Recondite Entry

lol. jk. I agree my last entry was a little harsh. The gist of my last entry was derived from deprived sleep, so was not all coherent. The entry was just a discursive spew of thoughts that came to mind in career prep today. After some perspicacious contemplation, I still believe that religion is an essential part of contentment on one's death bed. Well, there is another way to be satisfied prior to your moving on and that is to have done EVERYTHING that you could possibly want to do and be insipidly bored of the world.

The human brain is quite pathetic in a larger perspective. actually, forget that. The human body is incredibly pathetic. I mean, 80-100 years? c'mon. that is quite sissy. The brain should not have the ability to comprehend time or death or any concept which will create a paradox of thought. One should not be able to comprehend one's own demise, except for obviation alone. Of course death can only be prevented to a reasonable extent, but w/e.

Unfortunately, the brain does have that capacity and therefore isn't befitting with the rest of the body. To counteract this misfortune, the mighty brain conjured up religion, so it would not have to perish with other mere transitory biological lifeforms. The idea of a soul emerged from this, what some call frivolous, concept. It allows the personality of a person to last forever. So what? Personalities of EVERY person from ALL TIME are just floating around. That is a lot of helpless entities existing in our universe and they must be filling up the heaven's.

Presuming there is a beginning of time, what happened before then? a big nothingness? I like the oscillating theory better. Infinite oscillations and out of the billions came this one where life could exist. I give kudos to this universe. I'm sorry that others don't believe in the "chance" of life forming. I mean, infinite chances. It was bound to happen sometime. Even 1 out of a trillion happens every trillion times. So, here I convey my laudatory praise to probability (sometimes called a higher being) and to my alter ego which may appear in another few googol years. Coolness. Next post: utilitarianism.

"Burn Words"

The following composition shall be mottled with, what I like to call, "Burn words" or words that convey a certain degrading quality to them. Of course, I shall not use them to degrade others, but they could be used in such a fashion. Many of the words are quite recondite and esoteric so don't be disappointed if you don't understand them at a first cursory glance.

Lately, I've devoted much of my time to thinking, practicing and studying. I've noticed the ostentatious personality of others :( What upsets me more is their obdurate attitude in being such and lack of recognition in their obstinate ways. I am grateful for true friends in their most basic definition. One incredible burn word is "ingenuous" . I know it sounds like ingenious, but, in reality, it possesses a much better definition. I have encountered a few ingenuous people on my journey through life and it is the perfect word to describe them.

The foremost of my thoughts is that on life's purpose itself. Once again I have confronted myself with the purpose of my being; unfortunately, in an antithetical way. I've misplaced the reason I had to live :S and it is quite a frustrating quandary. Just a few weeks ago, I was most content with existence; however, that aspiration has faded and I must pursue a new one. Feel free to comment on sample ambitions that I may follow. I cognized a few objectives: career, family, religion, comradeship. Family and religion seem to be the most prominent.

Somehow, I have come to believe that human's need religion in the most basic of ways to survive. They need to believe something utterly fatuous in order to be satisfied. After coming to this cognition, I don't know if I, myself, may be able to do such. With the intent of self-satisfaction, I shall try my best to do so. Ted recently asked what "brainwash" means, and that is how I would describe it.

Radiology

I think I'll be a radiologist and study my first four years at the University of Colorado.

Unabridged

I swear. I didn't take (delete) anything form, from this entry. I didn't corect correct any of my errors by ea erasing them. I just kept on typig typing. I thinkg everybody should have a an unabrg an ung ung unabridged dictionary, beucae because they are the awesomet awesomest thing in the world. In fact, I'm going to ask fro for one for christmas. I just want to possess all of those words. I t like the abstract idea that I can own knowledge, but not actually have it in my head. well w/e

visit the SAT site and sign up for your SAT's, and browse through American colleges. Just think, if you do exceptionally well on your SAT then they might give you an academic scholarship. However, it is more likely that you'd get a scholarship for sports. Anyways. go there. Study for your SAT and even if you don't take it, you'll be using the vocabulary of your average freshman. I think that is worth it. Well I'm out.

Erudition

My ultimate goal of taking my SAT is erudition. I purchased a hardcore study guide for my SAT I and it includes a huge dictionary of hardcore words. Also, at the back there are a prolificacy of flashcards to review and proliferate one's vocabulary. I carry them around in my pocket, review them and then attempt to use them in everyday speech. I find it fun to apply adjectives to people such as capricious, servile, pragmatic, frugmatic or censorious.

Being a pragmatic person myself, this is the most expedient way to learn these words in the period of time assigned. Of course, I'm not learning every word in the english language, and there are many more in the SAT book, but nonetheless, I can probably increase my vocabulary by about 10 percent, or a 150 % increase of insane (not inane) words. One things I've noticed is people don't know the difference between incite (to promote, or initiate action) and insight (view into something; intuition). For one they have the accent on a different syllable and for two they possess disparate meanings and usages.

Feel free to mock and ridicule my geekiness for I do not have the care in the word. Actually, I do. I'll take it as a compliment. Calling one a geek extols, lauds and praises them, so if that is you goal, then go right ahead. I am aware of how garrulously I am speaking and shall attempt to curb my verboseness only subsequent to the completion of my SAT.

The clothes that I recently purchased, despite looking swell, belied my true personality. The ostentatiousness conveyed by those clothes did not suit me, but I will, nonetheless, dress up, comply, conform and look "hot" for an ephemeral period of time, every so often. I can't believe that vainglorious is actually a word. That expains why I dressed in stereotypical university shirts today and, though many deprecate this lack of fashion sense, I like those comfortable clothes which actually define myself.

SAT

I'm going to take my scholastic aptitude test in January, partly for fun and partly to potentially attend an American university. This creates a 10-day span of hardcoreness which I shall endure, prosper in and come out quite relieved. The time leading up to those days will be a rigorous period of study and practice and I'll probably reach my peak on the second or third day. I'm sure you are all wondering why these 10 days are crazy.

Well, first of all I have my grade 10 piano exam on wednesday. (: Gr. 10 has crazy technique, including every scale and arpeggio and broken/alternate chord at 120 bpm. Every scale includes major, formula patterns, 3rds, 6ths, octaves (only at 80 bpm), minor harmonic, melodic, chromatic.) ACK. Saturday, I have my 3-4 hour long Reasoning Scholastic Aptitude Test with potential SAT II on individual subjects. This will be the most insane test that I have every written, and most likely while writing it I'll reach the peak of my grammatical skill and vocabulary during it. That next week I have provincials on Monday, Tueday, Wednesday and Thursday (English 12, Chemistry 12, Physics 12, Mathematics 12). Subsequently, I'M DONE. FREE FOR ETERNITY.

At least until I start a new semester that is and start filling out numerous applications for colleges, universities and scholarships. YAY. Regarding the 10 days of solid work, when do you think I'll be preparing for that??? hmmm??? Christmas break...that is when. psht psht, merry christmas brad, here is a phone book to review for your SAT. (not a hyperbole btw. the review book for the SAT is 700 pages long and the size of a phone book). w/e I'm a workaholic and won't mind it one bit. I recommend that all of you take the SAT and since my mark is put on a bell curve I'd encourage you to score slightly lower than me. ;P Anyways, I'm off to read "All Quiet on the Western Front". A very descriptive, effective and enjoyable book. Rock On.

P.S. to kevin. I haven't recorded any new material, but I have written 2 new songs which have only been heard by David. I'll be getting a CD over to you with your mother's care pkg, but I can't guarantee Devin's compliance on this. He claims to be, and I quote, "real busy".

Away

I have a weekend in Vancouver with some family celebrating my aunt's 50th birthday, hence I am unable to do anything this weekend. The cousin I'd normally hang out with at these family gatherings isn't going so it has the potential for lameness. I am volunteering at the Port Theater tonight, so it is very little fun for the weekend. :(

That is my weekend in summary, before it even happened. The dollar is at 83.5 cents. It is going to rain. I have a sizable # of downloads of Ruto songs.

Did you?

arbitrarily name your song "Did you" like Hoobastank? Did you learn the bass line from the start of "did you" like nyck did?. I didn't think so. Why not? Cuz there just isn't enough time in the day to do everything. If that is your answer, then why are you letting time affect you so. Be looser and more relaxed and you can move so much faster. Who taught you about time anyways? If you didn't believe in it, would it still exist? If there was no space would there be time? no, of course not. Time it just the changing of things. The human brain cannot accept instantaneous change as an option for anything so it invents the ridiculous concept of time. I move that we destroy space and then have enough so called "time" to do everything we wanted to in our life span. Our life span could be measured in actions rather than years, for we would have no years.

That is my take on father time. Mother nature, however, is an entirely differen........... I don't actually have ADD, but don't really care to describe the essence of nature as I see it. My week has been busy so far, with NLS tonight. I got 15 dollars from a store and 10 dollars for tutoring: profit for me if I had not spend that money. That's all folks.

oh yah. the dollar is almost at 83 cents. *tear*

and being one of those lame news networks, Bush won the election. Why don't you just repeat history and take me to court just to prove me right 36 days later. I prayed that whomever won the election would do a satisfactory job and get us through the next four years w/o detroying the environment, economy or peace that is presently available. If peace was a stock, I wouldn't invest in it when G-dub was president. I find it interesting how I talk like the US president is going to get me through 4 years when I don't even live there, but then again, the US of A has much influence on life. all you Americans don't worry, it is multinational companies like Coca-cola, microsoft and Phillip Morris who are running your country. ;)

peace out. literally :(

Superficial layers can do a lot

If you are a jackass, you can dress and then look like a nice person. that isn't what I was really getting at though. I was thinking more along the lines of looking good and approachable so people want to get to know what is inside of you. I achieved a new level of self-confidence today: the maroon level. don't ask me what it means. I wore nice clothes:

Today was busy as anything. School from 830-3 w/o stop, cuz I had jazz choir at lunch. I practiced piano, ate and went to swimming until 10 pm. My day was hardcore long. but I got lots of nice comments on my clothes.

"What you need the most from me is yours."